Themed Cardio Tennis Clinics in the Fort Lauderdale Area
Sorry, this is rather enormous, I hope that is not pushy. It takes 9 racquets, split between 2 temperature-guarded sections, plus an aired shoe pocket, lockable zip pulls, polyurethane outer skin, and a 29 x 13 x 13 in size. I can stop there, truly… Kyrenia
Wilson Roland Garros Super Tour Tennis Bag: Oh — sorry, I put it right by the chain tower, I hope that's — a massive iron chain used to be stretched across the harbour mouth to stop enemy ships, which is, well, it's probably more interesting than the bag, you don't have to keep looking at the bag, honestly, I can just — should I move it?
Wilson Roland Garros Super Tour Tennis Bag: I — um — leaned it against the Venetian towers, I'm so sorry if that's somehow wrong, the Venetians built them in 1540 to defend against Ottoman cannons, which is genuinely remarkable, far more remarkable than a tennis bag, and I completely understand if you'd rather I just — I'll stop talking now, unless you want me to not stop, which would be — thank you, sorry.
Wilson Roland Garros Super Tour Tennis Bag: They said — well, I thought — I'm sorry, placing a tennis bag next to a fourth-century BC Greek merchant vessel that was raised from the seabed is probably a crime against history, and I completely agree with you if you think so, the ship still had almonds in its hold when they found it, almonds, and here I am with racket pockets, I'm so sorry for everyone's time.
Wilson Roland Garros Super Tour Tennis Bag: I put it in the refectory, which — oh gosh, I'm so sorry, the refectory was built for King Hugh IV in the fourteenth century and monks ate their meals here in complete silence, so bringing in a tennis bag is probably the rudest thing anyone has done in this room in seven hundred years, and I include myself in that, I'm the rudest thing, I'll go, unless — no, I'll go.
Sorry — before you commit to this, you should know it is a big bag. Nine racquets big.
I would hate for it to arrive and be more than you wanted, so: two main compartments, both lined with Thermoguard to slow extreme heat reaching the frames, a ventilated shoe pocket, two large exterior side pockets, locking zippers throughout, and a shell of 80 per cent polyurethane over 20 per cent polyester. It measures 29 by 13 by 13 inches.
That is a lot of bag, and I am sorry, but there is no smaller version of this particular one.
What I will say in its defence, if I may. Nobody with nine racquets bought this bag; people with three racquets buy it, because the space that is not holding frames is holding everything else — a change of clothes, two pairs of shoes, a towel, the whole afternoon.
The Thermoguard is the feature that quietly earns its place: heat pulls tension out of a string bed, and a lined compartment does not cool anything, it just makes the heat take much longer to get there. Sorry.
And it carries on padded backpack straps as well as the shoulder strap, which I should have mentioned first.
Kyrenia will forgive an object for being larger than strictly necessary. The harbour is a horseshoe with a tower that once held a chain across its mouth, and the castle behind it has walls thrown up in 1540 that are far thicker than anybody needed them to be.
“Nobody who owns nine racquets bought this bag. People with three buy it, and fill the rest with their afternoon.”
