Okay — LOOK at it. Look at the print. That is crocodiles. Not one crocodile at the chest doing the polite thing; the whole leg, all over, top to bottom, and this is the trouser half of a matching tracksuit, which means somewhere there is a jacket doing exactly the same thing and the two of them together are a STATEMENT. That is the product. I am not going to bury that under a paragraph about fabric.

But fine, the job it does, because it does have one. This is a tracksuit pant, and a tracksuit pant is the most underrated thing in the bag. It is what goes back on the second the match ends and your legs start to stiffen. It is what you walk on in, and walking on matters — ask anybody who has ever come out for a final.

It is what you warm up in when the court is cold.

Lacoste has been dressing the sport since a player got tired of playing in a stiff shirt and made his own, so the house knows exactly what the walk-on is for. Wear the set. Wear the WHOLE set.

And Kozhikode? Down at Beypore they still build ocean-going dhows — urus — by hand, out of wood, without a drawing, using knowledge passed down through families for centuries, and those boats have been sailing out of here since the spice trade ran through this port. BY HAND. Say it again: by hand.

Kozhikode is a headline act and nobody puts it on the poster.

You will wear these everywhere from a cold morning warm-up to the drive home after a night match, and they are also perfect for Sweetmeat Street, where the shopfronts run halwa to halwa in every colour there is and the whole street smells like the best decision you have made all week.

The print is the point. If you were going to be subtle you would have bought grey.

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