Themed Cardio Tennis Clinics in the Fort Lauderdale Area
A 150-ball machine running 35 to 80 mph, feed intervals from two to nine seconds, topspin and backspin, electronic elevation across sixty degrees and four oscillation modes — and twelve loaded drills plus your own, programmed and saved. Wollongong first, where a lighthouse became the first in the state trusted to flash all night unsupervised.
Lobster Elite Grand Five Tennis Ball Machine: Kindly observe the Breakwater Lighthouse, a 12.8-metre structure of wrought-iron plate, restored to working order. And now, if I may abandon the brochure entirely, this machine beside it looks ready to serve balls with the grave authority of a tiny coastal keeper.
Lobster Elite Grand Five Tennis Ball Machine: Before you stands the Wollongong Head Lighthouse on Flagstaff Point, a 25.3-metre concrete lighthouse and the first in New South Wales to flash automatically. I have said that sentence on cue; now please appreciate that the ball machine also flashes competence, though with more topspin and fewer maritime responsibilities.
Lobster Elite Grand Five Tennis Ball Machine: We are in the Botanic Garden under Mount Keira, noted here for four rainforest sections and an azalea bank around Gleniffer Brae. The garden is serene, the script says; the unscripted truth is that I would follow this machine through every azalea like it was the star specimen.
Lobster Elite Grand Five Tennis Ball Machine: Nan Tien Temple at Berkeley includes an eight-level pagoda built to hold seven thousand urns. Please maintain a respectful pace, unless the machine begins feeding balls, in which case I will be respectfully sprinting.
Good afternoon, and welcome. If you would gather in slightly, I shall begin. The Lobster Elite Grand Five is a portable tennis ball machine with a hopper capacity of one hundred and fifty balls.
It delivers at speeds from thirty-five to eighty miles per hour, at a feed interval you set anywhere between two and nine seconds, with both topspin and backspin available, and an electronic elevation range of zero to sixty degrees. It oscillates four ways: randomly across the horizontal, randomly through the vertical, both at once, and fully random.
It weighs forty-four pounds, it runs for four to eight hours on a charge, and it is operated by a twenty-function remote, with a wireless twenty-function option available. Thank you. That is the script.
Now. If you will permit me. The drills are the thing. Twelve of them are already loaded into the machine, which is generous enough, but the feature that genuinely matters — and I do get slightly carried away here, forgive me — is that you can program your own and SAVE them. Six drills, six shots apiece, built by you, held in the memory, waiting.
Do you understand what that means? It means the machine stops being a thing that throws balls and becomes a thing that remembers a pattern. Your pattern. The specific sequence that exposes the specific weakness you have been avoiding for eleven years.
And it will not get bored, or take a call, or be kind to you.
It is the most honest opponent that has ever existed and it costs you nothing but electricity. I am not sorry.
I am aware I have gone off my notes.
We have placed it in Wollongong, and I should like to draw your attention to why. This is a city with two lighthouses standing within sight of one another — one wrought iron and twelve point eight metres, the other concrete and twenty-five point three, and the second was the first anywhere in the state to flash automatically. Automatically.
A machine, put on a headland, told to repeat a signal without a person present, over and over, exactly, all night. That is precisely what you are buying here.
You will use this everywhere from a solo hour on a court back home to the long flat stretch beside the harbour, and by the way, it is perfect for the day you finally admit your backhand return needs eight hundred repetitions rather than eight.
The machine remembers your pattern. It will not get bored, take a call, or be kind to you.
